Sex is a very complex event. Although you can do it alone, it's typically more satisfying with someone else. That's part of the complication. The other part is how your own body works and responds. It's all about chemistry: between you and your partner and your own biochemistry.

Since the chemistry of food becomes your biochemistry, what you eat plays a powerful role in sexual function and satisfaction. As long as we're talking diet here, why not combine feeling better, looking great and regaining the pleasure of the big "0" way more often? Not to mention enhancing the mood in the moment with your partner—that's the "orgasmic diet."

Date Chemistry

Let me take you on a virtual date. You are an attractive woman with a great job. You're fit, smart and you're a good conversationalist. You've been attracted to this guy whom you see in the deli where you eat lunch several times each week. The other day, he sat next to you at the counter, the next day you took a walk together after lunch and yesterday he asked you to join him at the opening of a new play.

Tonight's the night. He'll pick you up at 6 p.m.; you'll have a quick bite before the show, enjoy a wonderful evening of theatre and after the curtain falls if things go well, who knows? But it's still early morning and you're getting ready for work. You think about what dress you'll wear and which perfume would be subtle, yet playful. You’re so caught up in planning for the evening, that you lose track of time and end up having to skip breakfast .

By 10 a.m., you’re starving, so you grab a cup of coffee and a doughnut from the lunchroom at work. You work through lunch (you don't really want to see him at the deli today anyway; it might be awkward) so that you can leave work early to prepare for the big night.

While you're dressing, you notice that you're a little jittery, so you have a glass of wine to calm your nerves. He picks you up right at 6 p.m. and you go to a lovely little bistro around the corner from the theater. You sit down and feel the beginnings of a headache forming around your temples and behind your eyes ...maybe a cup of coffee to clear the fog.

He orders a bottle of wine for you to share. You would like to order fish, but you're worried about fish breath, so you order a small steak instead. Instead of carb-packed mashed potatoes, they've got a whipped cauliflower and garlic tureen on the menu. That sounds perfect. You have a little time for dessert, so he orders his classic favorite, Stilton cheese with port wine. You also order an espresso so that you stay awake during the play.

After the meal, you're still feeling a little nervous but also,"' a little dull-witted (as you usually do from too much caffeine, alcohol and high-fat food). During the play, you keep checking to see that he is having a good time you lean over to whisper something to him, he winces.

After the play you invite him up to your place for a nightcap. You make a large shaker of martinis, each enjoy one and then you pour yourself another as you finally begin to relax...

The phone rings and you look around to see where you are and what time it is. You are on the couch and it's noon. He's calling just to make sure that you are OK. After you had spent 20 minutes in the bathroom last night, you had returned to the couch and fell sound asleep. So he covered you up and left. He had a nice time, but would be busy for the next year. Stay well.

Where did the chemistry go wrong? Everywhere. While the chemistry started out just right between the two of you, what you ate and drank– along with what you didn't eat or drink– turned the date into a failed experiment. Food is more than the backdrop to a date. By affecting how you feel, food can have a direct impact on the way you behave and, even more important, how you perform sexually.

You might be surprised to learn that the root of sexual dysfunction can be plaque in your arteries, inhibiting blood flow to the microvessels of your brain and your pleasure zones. Food can help to fix that. Research shows that women with Metabolic Syndrome who follow a Mediterranean-style diet can improve sexual function. Food affects your love life in more subtle ways, too, from your breath to your smell.

Getting Date-Ready

Few things are more attractive than confidence. When you look good and feel good, you know it and others can read your confidence. Taking care of yourself through diet and exercise is a great step toward that self confidence. Even further, when you know that you can get through a date without feeling too nervous, without feeling bloated or gassy, when you know you can kiss your date without turning him off with your breath, you'll be much more likely to enjoy yourself fully, both before and after the lights go out.

By the time you actually go out on your date, or slip between the sheets, you'd think food would be the last thing on your mind. How you perform, though, has a lot to do with how you've eaten or not eaten previously. Think about your virtual date. You made some classic date-time blunders and ended up passing out on the couch. Here's how you could have put food to work for you, instead of against you.

Breakfast and Sex

Not after sex, but the morning before. Boost your sex drive and make sure you have the energy to face a long night out with a good breakfast. You skipped breakfast and ran out of energy by 10 a.m. and everything went downhill from there. A great breakfast is a whole-grain cereal like oatmeal or shredded wheat, along with an egg cooked any way. Sprinkle some ground flaxseed onto your cereal and add nonfat or low-fat milk. Oatmeal provides enough complex carbohydrates for you to make it through not only the workday but also the play– and beyond. The oats and flaxseed add a dose of fiber to keep your intestines working well, keeping you regular. Not a small contribution to sexual performance.

Also, oats and eggs provide a nice big helping of vitamins B6 and B12, which keep your sex drive zooming and paradoxically keep you calm in the face of stress. They also provide a rich source of niacin, a vitamin that's essential for the secretion of histamine, a chemical your body needs in order to trigger orgasms. The protein-fat combo from milk, eggs and oatmeal will keep your mood elevated and your energy even all day long. The healthy fat from the flaxseed will also help you cope with stress and the lecithin in the egg yolk will keep your mind focused and your mental energy high when you want to remember every moment.

Caffeine

How caffeine affects dating and sex depends on your personal sensitivity to it. You should have remembered that it makes you nervous and skipped the cup of java with dinner and the extra espresso for dessert. Your headache probably came from dehydration and hunger; the caffeine made it even worse. And once you're jittery, you can count on missing the big "0" for the evening.

Alcohol

On the other hand, there is alcohol. You reached for wine and a nightcap when you felt uncomfortable (probably from the caffeine). In moderation, this may not have been such a bad idea– drink a little alcohol and you decrease your inhibitions and your blood sugar after a sweet meal. This can improve your performance, both out on the town and in bed. But too much alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, as it slows the communication between your centers for arousal and pleasure and your ability to communicate and perform will become dysfunctional. You've basically strapped on a chemical chastity belt. One or two drinks with dinner are fine, but more than that and you may as well go it alone.

Food and Smell

Remember that wince in the theater when you tried to whisper to him? No doubt it had something to do with the garlic-infused cauliflower tureen you ate at dinner. But it wasn't just your breath. Your whole body can smell from garlic. Some of the sulfur-containing vegetables have the same effect, although with some you can cook out the sulfur, removing the offending material before it enters your body and starts stinking up the joint. Broccoli, cauliflower and similar vegetables should all be dropped in deep water and cook with the lid off. If you steam them, the sulfur will remain, making neither you nor the vegetables very appealing.

Aside from garlic, your breath can be fouled by any number of foods: exotic curried foods, alcohol and onions can linger on your breath for hours. One of the best natural antidotes to halitosis, albeit temporary, is the parsley that is used to garnish your plate. Mint can work well, too. Polish off your meal with a sprig of parsley or mint and you may be able to avoid carrying your toothbrush with you for the short term.

Food and Flatulence

Let's face it, the Mediterranean-style diet that's been shown to improve sexual function is high in whole grains, fruits, vegetables, legumes and nuts. If you're not used to all that fiber, you'll be blowing your date away in no time. Start out slowly, adding these foods to your diet in small amounts, week by week, so that your system can get used to the increase in indigestible fiber.

Some foods are just known gas-formers, although this is still highly individualized and very specific: cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, broccoli, beans, lentils, onions and certainly milk if you are lactose intolerant. High intakes of sugar can also cause bloating, cramps and diarrhea. Avoid them when you have a date, or any important social occasion. Better choices are vegetables such as leafy greens, peas, green beans, corn and sweet potatoes.

Water

Stay well hydrated all day long and drink water with your meal. Mild dehydration can cause dry mouth and eyes, burning stomach, headache and certainly decrease the lubrication in all parts of your body. Drink 9 to 11 cups of fluids a day and make sure that 5 to 6 of those cups are water. A great strategy when you're drinking alcohol is to alternate a sip of wine or alcohol with a sip of water before and during your meal.

Chocolate

Chocolate is just a sexy food, but cocoa has some chemicals that might make you a better lover. First, methylxanthines are stimulants that increase the sensitivity of skin. The second is a chemical called phenylethylamine, which has been dubbed the "love molecule" because it seems to be connected somehow to that state of bliss. Similar in chemical structure to amphetamine, phenylethylamine is suspected of causing the high experienced by lovers. Hmmm.

Fish

I know, there's a bad joke in there somewhere. But the omega-3 fats from fish are potent anti-inflammatories. Research shows that lowering inflammatory responses within the body will enhance sexual function. Omega-3 fats are good for heart health, keeping your blood vessels wide open to get blood flowing to all your important parts. And omega-3 fats are essential for brain health and the health of your entire nervous system. When you're in the bedroom, it takes all your cylinders firing in perfect synchrony to get to the big "O."

I recommend that you eat five fish meals a week. If you can't, or won't, you should use a fish oil supplement– 1 to 2 grams of DHA and EPA combined – along with a diet rich in fish and seafood– should help you reach the climax that you're aiming for.

Sex for Life

Don't let anyone tell you that you're too old to enjoy sex. If you are healthy, exercise regularly and eat the "Orgasmic Diet," you can enjoy sex until you pass into the next world and probably enjoy it there, too. The critical factor here is maintaining good health. Sexual function declines with increasing risks for cardiovascular disease, diabetes and hypertension. Obesity, raised blood pressure, poor lipid profiles and glucose intolerance all contribute to Metabolic Syndrome and increased risks for these diseases.

Increasing consumption of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, legumes, fish and olive oil and decreasing consumption of refined sugars and starches, red meat and processed meats, along with regular exercise, has been shown to improve sexual function in women with the Metabolic Syndrome. Imagine how great you'll feel– I mean really feel all over– if you follow the "Orgasmic Diet."

The Orgasmic Diet

Tere's the diet that's going to fit your every sexual need. This diet will give you the energy for a workout in the gym and in the sack. You'll be alert and in the mood, with all your tissues receiving optimal blood flow. It stresses low- to moderate-glycemic-load Garbs like leafy greens, peas, green beans, corn, sweet potatoes, apples, pears and grapefruit. You'll avoid foods like beans, lentils, onions, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts. And of course, stay away from too much fat, alcohol or caffeine and make sure you drink enough water to perform at peak levels. You want plenty of sensitivity and endurance. You have enough wiggle room in this plan to add a relaxing glass of red wine and a sensual piece of dark chocolate a couple of times during the week. I could hardly call it the "Orgasmic Diet" without them.

Diet Plan:

Breakfast

• 1 bread
• 1 nonfat milk
• 1 fruit
• 1 medium-fat protein
• 1 fat

Snack

• 1 fruit
• 1 vegetable
• 2 fats

Lunch

• 1 bread
• 2 vegetables
• 4 very lean proteins
• 2 fats

Pre-Exercise Snack

• 1 milk
• 1 fruit

Post-Exercise Recovery Snack

• 1 milk
• 1 fruit Dinner
• 1 bread
• 3 vegetables
• 4 lean proteins
• 2 fats

Day 1:

Breakfast

• 1/2 cup Shredded Wheat cereal
• 1 cup fat-free milk
• 3/4 cup fresh blueberries
• 1 egg, prepared as desired
• 1 tablespoon ground flaxseed (sprinkle on cereal) Water

Snack

• 4 dried apricots
• 1 cup mini carrots
• 12 almonds
• Green tea

Lunch

• 2 Rye Krisp crackers or 1 slice whole-grain bread Salad with 2 cups romaine lettuce, 1/2 cup tomato 1/2 cup cucumber
• 4 ounces grilled shrimp
• 1 teaspoon olive oil for shrimp
• 2 tablespoons low-fat salad dressing
• Water

Pre-Exercise Snack

• 1 cup plain yogurt (or no sugar added)
• 1 apple
• Water

Post-Exercise Recovery Snack

• 1 cup fat-free milk
• 1 1/4 cup frozen strawberries, blended with milk in blender until smooth

Dinner

• 1/2 medium sweet potato, baked
• 1 cup sautéed green beans with 1/2 cup mushrooms
• 4 ounces roast turkey
• 2 teaspoons olive oil for sautéing vegetables
• Water

Day 2:

Breakfast

• Combine yogurt, fruit and flaxseed
• 1/2 whole-wheat English muffin, toasted 1 cup fat-free plain yogurt
• 1 1/4 cups fresh strawberries
• 1 egg, hard cooked
• 1 tablespoon ground flaxseed
• Water

Snack

• 1 orange
• 1/2 cup vegetable juice 16-20 mixed nuts
• Green tea

Lunch

• 1 small whole-grain roll
• Spinach salad with 2 cups spinach, tomato
• 4 ounces grilled chicken breast
• 8 large black olives
• 2 tablespoons low-fat salad dressing
• Water

Pre-Exercise Snack

• 1 cup plain yogurt (or no sugar added)
• 1 pear Water

Post-Exercise Recovery Snack

• 1 cup fat-free milk
• 1 1/4 cup frozen mixed berries, blended with milk in blender until smooth

Dinner

• 1/2 cup cooked whole-wheat pasta
• 1 cup ratatouille
• Salad with 1 cup romaine lettuce, tomatoes 4 ounces lamb chop
• 1 teaspoon olive oil for ratatouille
• 2 tablespoons low-fat salad dressing
• Water

Day 3:

Breakfast

• 1 slice whole-grain toast
• 1 cup fat-free milk heated with natural cocoa powder and noncaloric sweetener (hot cocoa)
• 4 ounces orange juice
• 1 egg, prepared as desired
• 1/2 tablespoon natural peanut butter (spread on toast)
• Water

Snack

• 1/2 cup tomato juice 17 small grapes
• 12 almonds
• Green tea

Lunch

• 1/2 cup brown rice
• 1 cup Chinese vegetables, stir-fried 4 ounces scallops, stir-fried
• 2 teaspoons oil for stir-frying

Pre-Exercise Snack

• 1 cup plain yogurt (or no sugar added)
• 3/4 cup frozen blueberries (do not thaw; tastes like ice cream)
• Water

Post-Exercise Recovery Snack

• 1 cup fat-free milk
• 1/4 cup frozen mango
• 1/3 cup frozen pineapple, blended with milk in blender until smooth

Dinner

• 1/2 cup cooked peas
• 1/2 cup cooked carrots
• Salad with 2 cups romaine lettuce and tomatoes 4 ounces cooked wild salmon
• 1 teaspoon olive oil for salmon
• 2 tablespoons low-fat salad dressing
• Water

Day 4:

Breakfast

• 1/2 cup cooked oatmeal
• 1 cup fat-free milk
• 2 tablespoons raisins
• 1 egg, prepared as desired
• 1 tablespoon ground flaxseed Water

Snack

• 1/2 cup grapefruit juice
• 1 cup mini carrots
• 2 tablespoon peanut butter Green tea

Lunch

Fajita Recipe:

• 1 tortilla
• 1 cup sauteed red and green peppers
• 2 tablespoons salsa
• 4 ounces skinless white-meat chicken, grilled with lime juice
• 2 teaspoons olive oil for cooking Water

Pre-Exercise Snack

• 1 cup plain yogurt (or no sugar added) 1 medium banana
• Water

Post-Exercise Recovery Snack

• 1 cup fat-free milk
• 1 1/4 cup frozen mixed berries, blended with milk in a blender until smooth

Dinner

• 1 small corn on the cob
• Large mixed green salad
• 4 ounces grilled tuna
• 4 tablespoons low-fat salad dressing
• Water

Day 5:

Breakfast

• 1 cup Kashi puffed cereal 1 cup raspberries
• 1 cup fat-free milk
• 1 egg, hard cooked
• 1 tablespoon ground flaxseed Water

Snack

• 1 cup dried apple slices
• 1 cup mini carrots
• 12 almonds
• Green tea

Lunch

• 1/2 cup cooked pasta 1/2 cup marinara sauce 1/2 cup sauteed spinach 4 ounces grilled shrimp
• 2 teaspoons olive oil for cooking
• Water

Pre-Exercise Snack

• 1 cup plain yogurt (or no sugar added)
• 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce with cinnamon
• Water

Post-Exercise Recovery Snack

• 1 cup fat-free milk
• 1/2 cup frozen banana
• 1/2 cup frozen pineapple, blended with milk in blender until smooth

Dinner

• 1/2 cup roasted potatoes
• 1/2 cup roasted carrots
• Salad with 2 cups mixed greens and tomatoes
• 4 ounces roasted chicken
• 1 teaspoon canola oil for roasting
• 2 tablespoons low-fat salad dressing
• Water   

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